Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ has RELEASED Sean my beloved brother, from the monotonous imprisonment of their constant, incredible care.
You said you’d pray, you offered all good healing wishes, you’ve been helping me through my own personal guilt … now he’s been let go. This is no coincidence and I wish I could hug ALL of you for HOURS of gratitude and love!
Sean must return every other day to the hospital, via medi-van, but he IS home and that means the stem-cells are doing their work. A part of me is incredulous, another is too delirious with joy to speak.
I’ve been thanking God and YOU for the last 30 hours, lighting candles, whispering up hymns to angels.
Wonderful news! So glad for both you and your brother!
Excellent, I am so happy for you both!
Sweet, sweet news….
What wonderful news, Cathrin. Bet Sean is as amazed as you are.
Thanks you so much for sharing this. You have no idea how much HOPE you added to the world with this post. ...Pure love.
Hugs, Nicole
I just came from food shopping, and saw this lady staring at a box of Bounce with the most confused look on her face. I asked if I could help, and she rambled off something in hyper-Spanish, I said “no comprende” and she goes “I have English!” then proceeds to explain she can’t figure out when to add the sheet of Bounce to the wash. Right there in the aisle I pantomimed out the whole thing, washing the clothes, then putting them in the dryer, then putting in the sheet of Bounce. Her eyes were bugging out, she couldn’t believe it was “so essie”.
At check-out I see her in another line, and guess what’s in her cart … a bottle of liquid Downy.
I guess some things are so simple we can’t accept it, and take the harder road. There’s something in me that feels I should be punished and I don’t know why – is it because I didn’t kill Sean’s cancer? Is it because I can’t get God to visit him in the hospital? The mind is “out to lunch” when trying to be logical about such a crazed thing as a messy, arrogant cancer like his. O my brother, please keep fighting, laugh at this thing, cry all you want, then just come home. Just … come home.
I think that lady is going to pour the Downy into the dryer.
Entiendo, Cathrin, la mujer tiene razón. Mas facil. When people have trouble in the grocery store and my husband realizes I understand Spanish, I always get shoved in front to help. My husband who cannot roll a r to save his own life has mastered the phrase “Dios mio”. That and how to say (loudly, because apparently people who don’t speak English are all hard of hearing as well) “My wife speaks Spanish!”. Oh boy. So… If she does end up pouring Downy in the dryer… Really nothing bad will happen. She’ll have a mess to contend with, but in the grand scheme of things, well, not so bad. I bet your little game of charades was more helpful than you think!
So… I guess you know what I’m going to say next, right? What happened to your brother is not your fault. You don’t deserve to be punished for being healthy. In fact you are doing so much right! And, I have it on good authority that G-d is with your brother in the hospital. And he’s right there with you, too. Prayers and love and light to you, dear heart.
Dear Cathrin, Feeling guilt, “survivors’ guilt” is about as common and plentiful as air. So no wonder you’re feeling like you “should be punished”.
It’s really difficult to put this aside. At the same time it does mean that cancer gets to make all the more victims, through “survivors guilt”.
As for God, my guess is, if you do believe in God, there is no way you could keep God from visiting Sean in the hospital.
The way I look at it, if God can spend all that time behind bars where so many criminals find him, why wouldn’t God be hanging out in hospital rooms?
Hugs to you and your ultimate cancer warrior brother,
Nicole
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